


We Keep Our Love In A Photograph

by Bluejay20



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Canonical Character Death, Mentions of War, Modern AU, Multi, Philip is nosey, Photographs, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 01:31:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8824801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluejay20/pseuds/Bluejay20
Summary: The room that they were in was void of all oxygen, or at least that’s what it felt like. The clock ticked the seconds that passed by without the two speaking to each other, the tick deafening to the ears. The two souls in the room simply stared at each other, with a wide eyed expression.  "Did you...Did you call me Laurens,"  In which, Philip looks too much like John Laurens for Alexander's liking.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this awhile ago but never published it, so here I am. 
> 
> Warning: there is mentions of war in this.

The room that they were in was void of all oxygen, or at least that’s what it felt like. The clock ticked the seconds that passed by without the two speaking to each other, the tick deafening to the ears. The two souls in the room simply stared at each other, with a wide eyed expression.  

"Did you...Did you call me Laurens,"  

The older man shook his head violently, anxiously running his fingers through his hair and yanking on the ends. "No, Philip, ignore what I said."  

Philip didn't respond, simply stared at his father with a worried expression.  

 Excuse me," he mumbled, rushing to past by his first born, "I have so much work to do-"  

His voice faltered with a slight shout as his fifteen year old son, who was much faster, taller and stronger, gripped his forearm and looked down at him, still with worry every present in his eyes.  

"Dad,"  

Alexander tensed, "Philip,"  

"I...Who's Laurens?"  

"No one, no one, Philip," he waved him off, twisting out of his son's grasp.  

"You called me Laurens,"  

Alexander paused from his trek to his study, sighing. He responded with the most softest voice he could muster, "He was a good friend of mine," he turned around, greeting Philip with the sight of his red eyes stinging with tears and a fake smile, "You look a lot like him, that's all."  

They left it at that. - 

\------  

The plate his mother was holding fell out of her hands as they went limp with surprise, the expensive plate struck the ground and shattered into pieces upon impact.  

"Where did you hear that name?" His mother, Eliza, had demanded, whirling around to look at him. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, her eyes frantically looking around as she mumbled a thank you to God that Alexander wasn't here.  

"Pops, he called me Laurens the other day. He said I looked a lot like him," Philip explained, treading through this extremely carefully. Whomever this John was influenced both of his parents' lives in a way he was desperately trying to find out.  

Eliza shook her head, bending over to pick up the broken plate. "He was a friend of your father,"  

"Was?"  

Eliza inwardly cringed, realizing her mistake. " _Is,_ " she reconfirmed. Rising to stand, she placed the shards of glass in a plastic bag and handed it to Philip, "Please throw this out, we don't want your siblings getting hurt,"  

"Laurens," Philip cut her off mid sentence, "What was his first name?"  

"John. It was John Laurens. Drop the topic Phi-"  

As a look of realization crossed over Philip's face, he rushed to ask his next question."Our John. My brother John. Was he named after John Laurens?"  

 No Philip, he was named after Angelica's husband now please," Eliza almost sighed in annoyance, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her fingers in an attempt to get rid of the impending headache. "Take the bag outside,"  

He did as he was told.  

-

It was wrong.  

He knew sneaking into his parents' room was wrong, but he had to find out who this John was. Why did his dad nearly break out into tears at the mention of his name ? Why did his mom get so defensive when being asked simple questions?  

So here he was, rummaging through his parents' closet and drawers attempting to find something.  

His mom was out shopping with all of his siblings, his dad was out on a business meeting with Washington. Therefore, Philip had plenty of time to snoop around.  

The curly haired man jerked when he felt a rough wooden back underneath his fingertips, seemingly out of place with the soft fabric of clothes it was hidden under. Philip lifted said box out of the dresser, bringing it close to his chest and cradling it like a mother would a baby.  

He sat down on the ground, setting the box on the floor very gently. With intrigue precision, he opened the box. Finding the brim filled with the letters and notes. In the corner, was two rings and in the middle of the letters was a sole developed pictures.  

The picture had two men in it.  

One, was his father.  

The other?  

A man who looked much like him.  

A man he assumed to be this so called John.  

But the picture was not capturing a moment of friendship between two friends. More so, a kinship between two lovers, instead.  

Alexander, youthful when the picture was taken, had his lips inches away from John's. Puckered and leaning in ready for a kiss. Half of his face was unnoticeable, for his hand was attempting to cover up the camera lens.  

Then there was the man he was trying to kiss. He had curly hair, and more freckles than the sky had stars. His lips were in between ready to receive a kiss and a smile, as if whatever was happening caused him to laugh mid kiss. His eyes crinkled with his wide smile, and his hand was clutching Alexander's knee.  

Philip couldn't help but stare at the photo.  

His father looked genuinely... 

Happy?  

"Philip, what do you think you're doing?"  

Alexander's sharp angry voice resonated throughout the room. Philip, Still fixated on the photo, barely even acknowledged the anger in his tone. Instead, he begun to speak over his dad, not even bothering to look at him.  

"Is this John?"  

No response.  

"You look happy, how long ago was this?" Philip muttered, placing the photo on a safe spot on the floor, and turning to pick up a letter that he assumed John wrote to his father.  

He begun to read the beautiful cursive that filled the page.  

It was a declaration of love.  

Ending with a, 'Forever Yours, John Laurens,'  

Philip wasn't expecting a hand to reach over and carefully plucking the letter out of his hands, and he certainly wasn't expecting his father to sit next to him, with a photo album in his lap.  

"That is John, yes," Alexander mumbled, opening the photo album, the spine creaking with age and the lack of use.  

The entire photo album was filled with pictures of him and John, each cuter than the last. Each its own story. There were tickets, receipts, everything and anything that was memorable to the two men.  

"Tell me about this one," Philip bent over to grab the picture of the two mid kiss, bringing it up to show Alexander.  

The sad smile that immediately appeared on his father's face caused his heart to shatter.  

"It was when we announced we were together, in every sense of the word..."  

 _"Alex, don't you have something to tell the people," A giggle from an eager John Laurens spoke out against the loud club music._  

 _Lafayette, a curly haired French man with an undeniable sexy accent, hummed teasingly. "Oooh, mon petit lion, what does he have to say? Hmm?" H_ _e brought his face close to Alex's blushing one, pinching his cheeks like one does a child._  

 _Hercules, a large man with the kindest_ _soul, bellowed out a laugh. "Yeah, Lex, what do you have to tell us?"_  

 _Alex laughed awkwardly, reaching to take a sip of his drink. "I, um, Laurens?" He looked across the table to seek help from the freckled face devil reincarnation, who was_ _clearly enjoying this attack._  

 _"What Alex means to say," John stuck his tongue out at the man mid sentence before_ _cont_ _inu_ _ing_ _, "Is that we are_ _dat_ _i_ _ng_ _,"_  

 _Laf and Herc almost jumped out of their seats, a congratulations exploding from both of them._  

 _"_ _Ah_ _, Alex_ _! Go prove it to us that_ _you_ _'_ _re_ _together, oui?"_ _Laf had laughed._  

 _"I don't...."_  

 _"Come on!" John urged, reaching over to pull Alex flush against him._  

 _Alex_ _chuck_ _led_ _. Puckering his lips, closing his eyes, as he leaned in to close the gap with John. The shorter man held the same idea, and begun to do to the same._  

 _"Take another Laf!" Herc's singsonged voice cut in._  

 _Aware of the situation, Alex's out shot outwards in a vain attempt to cover up the camera lens that was_ _undoubt_ _ed_ _ly_ _pointed in his direction. John couldn't help but break out into a smile as he heard the click of the photo been taken._  

"Lafayette and Hercules knew John?" 

"Yes, no one could stand us back then." Alexander explained with a bittersweet laugh. "Luckily, we all managed to settle down,"  

"Are you happy with how you settled down?"  

Alexander ignored the question, flipping through the pages of the album and placing his finger against a picture of John Laurens.  

He was looking down at the camera, his hair wild with frizz and curls were slipping out of his tie, slowly framing his face. His eyes were more noticeable in this picture. Light brown`and playful, he had a wide smile as for the camera. One hand was on someone's chest, presumably Alexanders, while the other hand was tangled in his own hair, messing it up even more.  

"He was always gorgeous first thing in the morning,"  

 _"You have been staring at me for the past hour, Alex," John groaned out, his voice laced with sleep but a hint of laughter could be heard if you tried to listen for it. "Are you satisfied yet?"_  

 _Alex chuckled, reaching over to pull John closer to his body, "I'm never satisfied,"_  

 _The smaller man laughed, "Is that right?" He teased._  

 _He wrenched himself out of Alex's grip so he could place himself on Alex's lap. Wiggling around a bit to get comfortable, but Alex's swore it was simply to tease him. "Would you like a picture, it would last longer,"_  

 _Laurens cocked his hip out as far as he could and pouted his lips, his hands flying outwards in mock superpose position. He went to look back at Alex's only to have a camera flash in his face, causing him to flinch_ _ba_ _ck_ _wards_ _._  

 _His eyes_ _narrowed_ _accusingly at the man, who raised his arms up in self defense._  

 _"Hey, you did tell me to take a picture,"_  

 _"Smartass,"_  

 _They remained like that for a few minutes before John went to move. His hand going to run through his hair before he stretched out, his other hand placed gentle on Alex's chest, back arching ever so slightly. His hair created a halo and he was the perfect angel._  

 _The sunlight fluttered in, hitting_ _hi_ _m_ _perfectly in such a cliche way Alex would've gagged if it was anyone else._  

 _But it wasn't anyone else._  

 _It was John._  

 _His John._  

 _Getting_ _the camera_ _ready_ _, he begun to take a sneak picture of John in this beautiful state. However, the smaller man noticed, stopping and flashing a dazzling smile straight into the camera right as the picture was taken._  

Philip remained quiet, scanning the photo. Noticing the same freckles that scattered his face. John, undoubtedly, had more freckles than him. Dotting nearly every inch of his face, leaving no spot unmarked by the most perfect imperfection.  

As they flipped through the album, Philip's eyes landed on a tear jerking picture. The two of the men caught in a loving embrace at the airport. John's head buried into Alexander's chest, their arms encircling each other as they were to afraid to let go.  

"Pa?"  

"He decided to enlist, his father wanted him too,"  

 _"You two act like you won't see each other again," Hercules laughed out, clapping Alex's harshly on the back, as they two of them broke from their loving embrace._  

 _"I just might not," Alex's mumbled regretfully, to which John's slapped him playfully across the chest._  

 _"Don't kill me off just yet,_ _baby_ _girl_ _," the curly haired man had playfully sneered, "I'll be back, I promise,"_  

 _"See," Laf's accent rung in, "We'll be together again, don't worry, mon amis!"_  

 _"I hope you're right," Alex's mumbled, pressing his lips against John's forehead._  

 _Laf giggled, "Always am,"_  

 _The two continued to comfort each other, until John had to regretfully pull apart from Alex. He gave one last longing kiss on his boyfriend's lips, attempting to remember the way they felt for he wouldn't be with him for a long time. After parting with him, he gave Laf and Herc one last hug before bouncing towards the check in line._  

 _"I love you!" He called back cheerfully, at the three men who remained back._  

 _Herc responded with a deep chuckle and a, "love you too," while Laf shouted a, "Je_ _t_ _'_ _aime_ _!"_  

 _Alex sighed softly, shouting back an "I love you more_ _!"_  

 _"I love you most!"_  

 _"I love you more than that!"_  

 _"Ugh, Alex, we'll have this discussion later. I have a flight to catch." John exclaimed with a giggle. He blew one last kiss towards the three before disappearing into the crowd of  people._  

The way his father's voice died down after telling the story made Philip's spine chill. The silence was the utmost deafening, nothing could be heard. His father, who never seemed to shut up, lapsed into silence without a second thought. Staring at the picture of him and his lover.  

"He's...John's not with us anymore, is he?" Philip whispered almost inaudibly.  

He looked up to see his father shaking his head, eyes red and wet with tears. He sniffled uncharacteristically. Alexander reached into the box that was abandoned a few feet in front of them, grabbing a letter and placing it in Philip's hand.  

It was a letter. A letter from the US military. He could read John Laurens died honorably in a gunfight with the fleeting troops, who have not heard about the surrender.  

"It was raining that day, it always seems to rain whenever things go wrong,"  

 _The knock on the door was crisp._  

 _One, two, three._  

 _Too crisp for one of his friends to be on the other side of the door. Besides, Hercules and Laf were already here with him, and John was still on tour for another few months_ _apparently_ _._  

 _Alexander pushed himself up from the couch to swing open the door, a sharp gasp escaping his lips when he noticed a young man with a sharp uniform on. In between his hands was a letter, addressed to Alexander Hamilton._  

 _He could hear the television noise die off as Laf and Herc turned it down to listen to the newcomer._  

 _Before Alexander could speak, the solider gave him the letter with regretful eyes and a pitying smile._  

 _"I'm so sorry, Mr._ _Hamilton_ _,"_  

 _He never ripped a letter_ _open_ _so fast._  

 _He scanned the letter quickly and tensed, looking back up at the_ _soldier_ _he gave an unconvincing smile, wavering. Saddening._  

 _Thanking him, he shut the door and pivoted back to his house._  

 _"You need to leave," his voice cracked to Herc and Laf would sat dumbfounded on the couch._  

 _"What?"_  

 _"I have so much work to do,"_  

Alexander stared at the letter, this time tears actually fell past his eyes and stained his cheeks. All Philip could do was vainly attempt to comfort his crying father.  

"John seemed like a great guy," Philip said, in which his father let out a bitter laugh.  

"He was more than great, Philip. He was absolutely amazing,"  

"Do, do you wish things turned out differently? Do you wish he was still here?"  

"Of course I do, Philip," Alexander signed, closing the photo album and the wooden box. "But I think things turned out just fine, I have a beautiful wife and the most wonderful children. I wouldn't trade it for the world,"  

Just as Philip was about to respond, commotion from downstairs ripped them from their talks.  

"Alexander, Philip, come help us with the groceries!" Eliza called.  

Alexander laughed as he heard one of the children dropping a bag and Angie yelling at them, "C'mon, let's go help," He picked himself off of the ground and walked his way downstairs. The children screaming, "Daddy!" Or "Father!" As he became noticeable to them.  

He matched their excitement.  

Philip followed more slowly, picking up the box and album, and placing them back in the dresser where they were previously.  

As he walked, he thought about what his dad said last.  

 _"I have a_ _beautiful_ _wife and the most wonderful children. I wouldn't trade it for the_ _world_ _,"_  

Philip couldn't help but have a heart-sinking feeling that his dad was lying.  

 


End file.
